Valentine’s Day is so over. Heck, it’s almost March Madness; time to “spring ahead” to Daylight Savings Time; time to finish those dark chocolates and pull out the bright green! Nonetheless, when I heard Milan and Kay Yerkovich share their theory on How We Love, I saved it for you. For right now. It’s time we figure out this thing called love, so we can love our mates — really anyone — better. In fact, after one friend listened to this broadcast, she went to their website, took the quiz, which opened her eyes to a few things, and had a major breakthrough. So it’s never too late to learn how we love so that we can learn how to love. Listen here or below.
And since some of you prefer to learn and grow by reading rather than listening, New York Times bestselling author, Lysa TerKeurst, shares a vulnerable self-assessment of how she sometimes looks at love, from her new book, Uninvited:
Today I’m feeling so challenged to look at love a little differently. Sometimes in the gut-honest quietness of my heart, I look at love through the eyes of what it will offer me.
I hold out the little cup of my heart to the people I love, “Will you fill my empty spaces? Today will you do that one really thoughtful thing and make me feel like I’m the most noticed and special woman in the world?”
Then I hold it out to my children, “Will you fill up my empty spaces? Will you do something today that makes me look really good as a mom so I’ll feel a little more validated?”
Then I hold it out to my ministry, “Will you fill up my empty spaces? Will you provide something today that makes me feel more significant?”
Maybe today seems like an odd time to consider such things.
But as we start a new year I actually think today is the perfect time to hit the reset button on my sometimes frail heart. Love is a tricky thing. Our hearts were created to crave it. God proclaims that love is greater than hope and greater than faith.
God also proclaims that love never fails. And in the quietness of my heart that verse from 1 Corinthians 13 makes me squirm a bit. I see love failing all the time. Or do I?
If my only view of love is what it will give me, love from others will fail me every time. It’s not that love fails. It’s that other people were never meant to be my God. Even a wonderful family and a thriving ministry can never truly fill me up, right all my wrongs and soothe those deep insecurities.
No, I can’t read 1 Corinthians chapter 13 with eyes hungry to see what love should give me, and then demand it from those around me. I should read those steadfast Scriptures with the realization: This is the kind of love I can choose to give.
I can choose that my love will be patient. My love will be kind. My love won’t keep a record of wrongs. (Ouch — that’s a hard one, right?)
I can choose that my love will protect and persevere.
And I can choose to lay the cup of my heart at Jesus’ feet and stop twirling, twirling, twirling, hoping — no, demanding — that those around me do things for me they were never meant to do.
Love isn’t what I have the opportunity to get from this world. Love is what I have the opportunity to give.
Dear Lord, thank You so much for Your love. I know that because I am abundantly loved by You, I have an abundance of love to give. Help me today to live loved and to give love. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Rooted In Truth Scriptures: But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. 1 John 4:10-12 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34-35 And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ. Ephesians 3:17b-18
Listen: Live Like You’re Loved